Releasing Your Emotions-5 Steps to Feel Better

The path to healing can be a quite bumpy and long tedious road. Like so many of us, I’ve been there, and I still am. Along my path, I tried many things to feel better and to heal, and I believe I can give you some keys, some advice so that you can also come out triumphant of whatever hardships you’re going through.

And, as corny and cliché as it may sound, I also believe that it is part of my soul’s mission to do so.

Speaking of which, if you are not in the process of discovering yourself spiritually or if you don’t believe in those things, this article is not for you.

So if you are on your way to your spiritual journey, let’s dive right in.

After these 5 steps, you will be more enclined to feel better anytime you’ll feel down or anxious

These steps have been tested and experienced in my own life and turned to be efficient and I would like to share it with you guys because if it helped me, it can also help somebody else !

  1. Go easy on yourself !

Even if it’s easier said than done, please try not to be so hard on yourself and to beat yourself up for everything, and I ‘m telling you this out of experience…It is gut-wrenching and you are hurting yourself doing this, especially when it has become a habit for so many years. The path to healing and rebuilding a life takes a lifetime, not in the sense that you will never completely heal, but it is a long process that forces you to be patient and soft with yourself.

So being in a rush and blaming yourself all the time will not make the healing and the recovery faster, so try not to hurry. It is necessary for you during those times to be soft and kind towards the parts of yourself that were hurt, to gently welcome them.

To be more loving and at peace with yourself means to re accept yourself step by step and introducing more and more softness to your life, be more patient with yourself, learning to talk about what hurt you or what you’ve gone through, whatever trauma that is.

I’ve experienced that and I was feeling guilty to open up about my struggles and traumas, and I remember that being easy on myself really helped me. It didn’t come right away, it was not a miracle remedy, but it worked on the long run.

For example, I’ve been told so many times that was overreacting on so many levels that I was starting to think that maybe I had an issue, like something was actually wrong with me . I remember one day I went to see a friend of mine, and I told her” I don’t understand why I react so strongly to this situation when it actually is not that serious?”  I was telling myself that my emotions were not valid and what I felt was not supposed to be felt at this moment, in this particular context, so I was the problem…what a guilt and shame spiral…here we go…

My friend didn’t know what to tell me because she even herself didn’t really comprehend why I had such burst of emotions for so little of a situation.She told me that my reaction was disproportionate regarding the real situation and that what I felt was not real, it was just me stressing the heck out of myself.End of story.Period. at first I thought “well , okay maybe she is right, I’m not supposed to feel what I’m feeling, so I’m just going to calm down and move on”. But the I came to a realization : I figured that the problem was not me, the problem was that what I felt echoed some old unhealed wounds and traumas I didn’t have time to transcend or that I felt disempowered about because I didn’t know how to rescue myself, literally.

This,  was the epicenter of my incomprehension and rejection towards myself, my emotions and that was shat was leading me to endless pain towards my friends and family.

Like a domino effect, the deeply rooted guilt engulfed me like a crushing breaker wave, followed by a panic and huge anxiety when I would see my family and friends not understanding my reaction as a whole. That is why guilt is not to be denied, especially when this very feeling strikes when you’re experiencing difficult and stressful situations, even if they are viewed by society as “random” and “not to be stressed about” situations. It is actually during those occurences that we need to press pause and listen to ourselves and how we feel and release some softness.

What helped me was to go discovering my emotions, gently and patiently. Stopping what I’m doing and breathe my emotions , welcoming them and validate them.Because what you feel is never to be denied or suppressed, because if it is suppressed it cannot heal properly. Allow your feelings to come to the surface

Stop for a minute what you’re doing and take a step back : if you are not alone, try to go to a safe place where you can be alone for a few minutes and try to be the observer of your consciousness : try to replay the scene in your head and try to see yourself reacting the way you did , as if you were a witness to the scene , try not to judge yourself. If you do , it’s okay, there’s no need to add more guilt to that. This is a very powerful process as it enables you to see your own emotional process.

You can ask some questions to yourself :

How do I feel ? can I name this feeling? Try to write down what you feel, put words on it, or you can even draw something, what it makes you feel.

. Why do I feel this way? Let your intuition guide you, the first thing that comes to your mind will be the right answer, try to note it down if possible.

. Is it really necessary ?

. Did I do something wrong ?

.Is something/someone telling me I should feel this way ? Or is it just me ?


Don’t be afraid to navigate your thoughts and reflect on your answers , try not to overthink the process . close your eyes and try to remember when was the first time you felt this emotion, it could stem from childhood or be way more recent , you don’t need to look for traumatic event right off the bat, sometimes, traumatic responses can occur during what we can consider “normal” situations, like a simple dinner between friends , as I said earlier.

Note down what you found, and if you didn’t find or write anything, it’s no big deal, just take your time,let your conscious mind and your soul guide you through this resilient process.Please keep in mind that, sometimes , answers do not come up because the time may not be right for you and that you might come up with some more insight and informations during the following days or weeks, this is completely normal.


This advice can be used whenever you feel emotionally distressed and that you need to find answers as to where these feelings come from.

  1. Write your emotions !

Having a emotions notebook is really important, writing your emotions, your feelings, even what comes through your mind , even when you feel good, it does not necessarily needs to be about bad things or heavy feelings and thoughts , and on paper is better because it enables your psyche to free from the weight of words, of the unsaid, taboos , emotions you find hard to express because they’re too heavy or you simply cannot do it; you can draw as well or paint,the simple fact of moving your fingers, your hands, helps you releasing the overload of mental energy and enables you to free this load on paper and just pour it out.even if you do it once a week, it helps.

  1. Change your mindset : your feelings are your allies , not the enemy

When a negative thought occurs, try not to deny it and welcome it, don’t make it the enemy number 1 because it will not go away unless you welcome it truly and authentically , allowing yourself to feel the emotion. Turn it into strength: this thought won’t strike you if you let it come to you, like a part of yourself that is hurt and is desperately looking for kindness.

Remember that there is a reason for everything and it is only when welcome this feelings that you will be freed from them holding you back.

  1. Just smell it!

Yes, it can appear  a little weird and unefficient, but it really works and has done wonders for me. The very fact to smell a fragrance or an essential oil you particularly love will make you feel more relaxed and more calm in an instant ,it is not a miracle cure but it works. What you can also try is the “rescue Spray’ by Fleurs de Bach : this little bottle full of essential oil will help you calm down when you feel stressed, here is the link

  1. Everything happens for a reason !

Once again, even if I said in in n.3, and even if it may be difficult to understand, according to me, and, this is only my perspective, my opinion, there is no such thing as coincidence and that everything that happened in your life that was considered or viewed as ”good” or “bad” is part of the divine plan, your soul’s path and your destiny.

As far as I’m concerned, going back to that mindset and that philosophy when I was feeling down, tremendously helped me to see life in lighter and brighter way, without giving me false hope either, just this little heart warming feeling of “having the faith” kinda tingly feeling.knowing this helps you see life on a much broader perspective, and see yourself and others on a deeper and truer level.

To make peace with your past and to make it an asset , a strength may seems to be a little cliché, but it is very meaningful.

To make peace with your past does not only mean “to live with it and move on”, it also means to bring spiritual meaning to your life event and transcend your wounds associated with it to laugh again and enjoy all the little things of life

Bless You ,


If you need some advice and know about your soul’s mission ,

click here :


Photo : Unsplash – Frida Aguilar Estrada

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